Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Forget the past, live for today and plan for a better tomorrow

This past yr has been somewhat of a roller coaster ride for me,not all bad but very stressful with a lot of significant changes.I spend my first Christmas without my boys this year, hardest day ever in my life so far but made me realize that every moment I have with them I need to cherish cause they are my reason for going on most days and you never know when that might be over.
I started a new job,started making decisions based on what was best for me,stopped trying to please everyone(this was good for me),started to live my life around my boys.
I have also met some very special people from all around the world that I will always hold close to my heart always.
What's next for me in 2012?I want to maybe go back to school,travel and see the world while meeting some of my new friends,get a little more serious about this writing thing,buy a real camera and learn to take beautiful photos(I caught the photo bug).
What's your new year have in store for you? 
I'm going to start living for my dreams and hopes,let fate show me tomorrow and kick fear in the ass and stop letting it dictate my life,set new goals and never give up on what my heart tells me is right, and start writing my future because it is a blank canvas ready to be painted.

Thursday, 15 December 2011

Brooks Bunting, 21
Compassionate and humble, Brooks' quiet influence affected everyone who knew him. The eldest of four boys, Brooks was very active in his church, was enrolled in NAIT's business program and coached football at Salisbury high school. An impaired driver smashed into Brooks' truck on May 1, 1992. He died the next day. The impaired driver died at the scene. There were 2,200 people at Brooks' funeral.

The last few days I have been thinking about Brooks a lot for some reason and I thought I'd share a little to what he meant to me.
I was a 15 yr old long haired metal head and brooks was a clean cut, chutch going, all around nice guy. I believe we first met at a church function as he was one of the youth leaders at the time. We hit it off cause he was also a football player and had went to the same high school I was currently at. Long story short he helped me find myself when a lot of people saw me as being a rebel with no cause, lol.
When I got the. Was Brooks had been killed by a drunk driver I was so upset, this was my friend and my hero kinda.
I believe Brooks death affected me more than I realized. So shortly after I was on the road with a band and I guess that may have been my way of finding myself again.
Well I guess this makes me think of how short our lives can be. Here today gone tomorrow! So lately I have tried to make it my goal to live everyday to the fullest but to also follow my dreams, my hopes, my desires. I don't want to wake up in 10 years and realize I lost the best things because I gave up. No not me, my life may be on a new road but my future is not written yet and I plan on making my future great. I will chase my dreams. I will find my hopes. I will open my desires. Don't let anyone stand in your way.
Live each day as if it were your last and don't let go of what your heart tells you to keep. Follow your heart not the crowd, they will always lead you astray but your heart will guide you and show you the true light.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

The small things

Do you ever wonder why we are not more thankful for the small things in life? Every day we are blessed with things that most take for granted. You open your eyes in the morning, wow now that's a big one but how many people are truly thankful for that? Gets you to think doesn't it? Hop into the shower and there is hot water, thank you. Pour yourself that morning cup of tea or coffee and eat your breakfast.Get into your car and drive to work(no one likes to work but with a job you have money which provides all these things we need and take for granted).
Now on the issue of car, my car recently died on me literally, gonzo, cu put, blaaahhhhh!!! WTF do i do now? Without my car i cannot get to work because the buses do not go to this particular area, how do i get to stuff like hockey? Oh and the most important how do i see my children, i need my car to be able to pick them up and spend those few but precious hours with them. Blessings, yes because luckily i had another car that my Dad had given me years ago but just had it in storage, tried to sell a few times but sale never went through. So the blessing, all the car needed was brakes and a basic tune up, BLESSING!!!
So my good friends Ian and Mike who are both a lot more mechanically gifted than me, lol, guided me through the process tonight and i was able to get the car fixed and road worthy in just a few hours with minimal cost. Small things but so big! Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for all the support and help.
So be thankful for those little things we take for granted on a daily basis, bless others with even a coffee or better yet a smile, they are free and can change a dreary day into a joyful day. I have a very close friend and when she smiles i get goose bumps, really she has the most beautiful smile i have ever seen so smile more cause it is wonderful and might just bless someone, cause no matter my mood her smile warms me and brings joy to my heart always forever.

  May you always have work for your hands to do. May your pockets hold always a coin or two. May the sun shine bright on your windowpane. May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you. And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.


Sunday, 4 December 2011

To be or not to be

Do you ever have one of those days where you just wish you could get a break?
Well welcome to my Sunday! I decided yesterday to try to make a few extra dollars working some weekend hrs an today I got up nice and early and got ready to go. Had my tea, washed my face, dressed warm and out the door I went. Car started just fine and off I went, well about 10 minutes into my drive the car started knocking and then just died. I was able to pull it over to the side of the road and stop so I was not blocking traffic. Now I am not a mechanic, not even sure I could figure out the right side up for a screw driver so frustration and panic set in quickly! Here I am stranded on the freeway at 6am and no mechanical skills what so ever, so I abandon my car and start to walk, yup walk.
It was a good walk, a cold walk but food cause I had time to reflect on alot of things in my life. I could let this little set back ruin my day or I could smile and count my blessings. I am alive and I can prove it cause I can see my breath, I have two perfectly good legs to get me to safety, I have a warm jacket on and a TOUQUE to keep my head warm. Really I am blessed so no this will not ruin my day cause I will not allow it too.
We all have set backs in life that we need to deal with and this is just one for me so smile! I am making alot of changes in my life right now, staring to eat healthier, working out, better possitive attitude, making new friends that I hold dear to my heart(you know who you are)! I miss certain people beyond explanation but I need to stay possitive and be confident.
So if you have things in your life that seem to much to handle, remember if you are breathing, if you are upright, if your heart is still beating then smile. Be positive in all you do because it could be worse!
Follow your dreams no matter how big or small you think they are. I am not gonna ever give up and neither should you;^)
Now back to my Green Tea Latte, yummy!

Saturday, 3 December 2011

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Wow that's alot to take in!
I interpret this as everything in our lives good and bad are continually preparing us for bigger and better things to come. When the light looks like it is very dim and may go out look deep inside for you will see a bright aura that will build you right back up. Its what is within us that matters, our strength comes from our beliefs, our morals, our faith. And even when all those things are rocked and our very exzistance seems doomed we must get on our knees and believe.
Right now in my own life i have allot of  trials to deal with. My divorce, my work situation, my future. I need to be CONFIDENT, i need to remember what my morals were when raised, i need to believe that all things work out for the better.God closes some doors but opens others when we are ready, i need to be ready to fully see his majesty. It is there and I can see it but He will not allow me to grasp it fully just quite yet;(
I cannot see the future, i can only start to write it with those i believe should be apart of it.I know in my heart that they will be there but the road is so long and bumpy along the way, again i believe this is to test my faith.
I cannot see the future but can only control my today. So for those i have hurt i ask your forgiveness, for those i have blessed i pray i can keep blessing you. And for those that are waiting at the door for that perfect moment have faith, that moment is but a blink in time and will happen sooner than you think.

Friday, 2 December 2011

Faith,hope,love... But the greatest of these is Love

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  8 Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

There comes a time in all of our lives where we are faced with the true fact of mortality. When i lost my mum 15 years ago my world crashed down all around me, i literally fell apart inside but no one on the outside knew. I lived my days as the strong vocal one guiding everyone through there days, being there for my Dad and my sister but at night i would cry myself to sleep cause i never knew what to do for me. This had a drastic effect on the people around me, i lost good friends, i lost respect of other, and I lost who i was but i had no clue why this was happening and neither did they.
Years later when i finally figured it out and broke down to the point of near suicide i finally realized i had been taking care of everyone around me but doing nothing for myself. My Dad and my sister where always there but could only do or say so much until i was ready to set myself free, and i did and im alive today.
I was raised in a good Christian home with loving parents that only shared there faith with me but never pushed it upon me. I love them for that and always will.I have strong morals and beliefs because Mom and Dad allowed me to make mistakes so i could find the right way for myself.
Recently a very close and special friend of mine shared some very deep and meaningful things about her life to me. I first am so grateful she felt trusting of me enough to share and secondly that i was special enough to lend my ear to her. She is going through a similar situation that i went through when my mum died, always helping others and always forgetting about herself. Find yourself first, be at peace with who you are and not what others want you to be. Get on your knees and ask God to heal you from the inside out because trust me He will, i am a living example who should not be here. Suicide was the easy way and i had plenty of opportunities to go down that road but i choose life mostly because of my boys. Today i am a better man for this, my life is far from perfect. i see my boys only several times a week, work what feels like a dead end job feeling unappreciated daily, i don't have alot of money, i don't even have alot of friends but what i do have is my children, my life, my God, my family, and my future which is unwritten yet. I am now in control of my life, i am now the maker of my happiness and the taker of my joy. It is in my hands to walk the proper path even if others think i am crazy.
So my vow, from today on I will live for me, with God as my guide and my plans as my workbook. The future can be bright if we allow it to be so heal, find yourself, put yourself first and ask God to guide you along the way because He will.
God gave me a very special gift recently but until i become fully the man i need to be i cannot fully appreciate His magnificent gift, please if you read this do the same, find yourself and let go of the pain then God can give you the world that's already in your heart. Gods love will never fail you, give it a try...

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Live for today, forget yesterday, plan for tomorrow

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
— Groucho Marx

What will today bring you? Well it can bring joy beyond your greatest dreams or it can bring the greatest sadness imaginable. What do you want it to bring is the real question? 

I used to get up each day and just go about my life as if tomorrow would always come. Eat my breakfast as if there would always be food on the table, hug my kids as if I'd always have them close. Well I now look very differently on things, when you finally wake up and your cupboards are empty and you kids are gone it changes you. Now I can choose to be depressed and let it ruin my day or I can look at the bigger picture. I can head to the grocery store and get the food I need to fill the cupboards and I can call my kids, make plans to see them after work. But the biggest thing I can do to make me happy is remember that I have three wonderful boys and that they love me very much, see I am blessed and I am even smiling behind the tears.
Yesterday may be filled with pain and anguish, but you cannot change the past so forgive yourself for it and start living for today. Remember that all you went through made you the person you are right now, never hold regrets for the mistakes you may have made  but hold joy that you have breath today and are stronger because of those mistakes.
And as for tomorrow, it has not come yet so why worry about it? I am not saying you should not plan your future because I believe that you should. Do you have dreams? Do you have hopes? Do you have aspirations? Then live for today and plan for tomorrow.  Get out your pad and pen and write down all your dreams, hopes, aspirations, the  future has not been written yet so write it your way. Make every moment count for if today was your last would you be happy with who you were and what you did with your life? Love yourself right now for being just you and let no one bring you down. Dream!
So I have today and it's what I do right now that will open the doorway to tomorrow. Live your life and know that the ones that matter will always have your back and will always be HERE WAITING.

"Make the best of your day today, this is the first day of the rest of your life. Love, laugh, smile, be yourself, never change for anyone!"

Author unknown